It's not the crime that counts, it's the time. We've not made it exclusive yet but we did agree to not see other people at the beginning. Yesterday night we went out to drink. [1] you didn't foresee and avoid being in that predicament. I gave up playing tennis with him. Weve probably all known silly drunks, mean drunks and people who simply couldnt hold their liquor and vomited all over the place. ;-D. Ahhhh you're back! Are you dreaming about another man? Here's what it really means :(. 3. It was such a weird experience. Which probably makes you wonder why I came here in the first place. And for science-based tips for managing guilt, check out my book, Emotional First Aid. You're the worst! Why would you want to do that? If you don't figure this out OP, it will happen again. So your crop had already been carrying a blight, hadn't it. Im guessing that theres a good chance you would have gone all the way if the piano teacher had gone for it. If you kissed a stranger, your significant other might just react by laughing or by telling you its okay. I'm 44 years old and I've been dating a 24 year old for 5 months. reader, Ellis Mac+, writes (25 October 2005): A I'm really surprised that everyone is saying "It's just a kiss" and to not tell the SO. in all the years we are together I have never ever done anything like this before, and I can say with confidence I will never allow myself to end up in any situation that could lead to anything even close to this again. DON'T: Kiss and tell to someone you're kissing. This is the decission you need to make do you want to risk all (career, home, kids as well as your DH) and be in a position you can pursue a relationship with this married man - who may well reject you for more than a fling. = I'VE ONLY GOT HIS WORD FOR IT. Kissed another man four years ago and NOW feeling guilty. the guy has a long term girlfriend who he lives with and he said she was really angry with him for coming home so late, then he said, look, I think we're good people that completely lost our minds for 5 minutes, and are suffering major guilt for it now, but it will never ever happen again, and I'm not going to say a word to anyone' to which I replied 'neither am I' and he said 'ok, look I'll see you on Monday but this is going to be ok, don't worry, we can move on from this' Once emotions kicks in, you cant predict what will happen. I say tell him. You can confess to your significant other and accept the consequences, knowing that you might hurt your partner by confessing. Helping ppl have the sex life they truly want thru writing & education. Lets get down to the basics here. male However, before you choose option 3, you need to talk to the person you kissed when you are sober again and make sure that the other person has strong feelings for you, too. You're not attracted to him? Other way around. Generally people dont care when it happens with others but when it happens with them, they may react very differently because human are emotional creatures. [2] ..you showed you don't think of he and you as a team by sharing all information pertinent to the relationship; I like him so so much and I know I was just being drunk and ****. The Bedford man accused of killing another after an argument April 24, 2021, pleaded guilty Friday to third-degree murder, his attorney Dan Kiss said. When we got there the drinks flowed again , and more laughter and story telling. I am biased and do hold strong views because my XH cheated. You might feel guilty about it the next day, but it wasnt a big deal. I'm going to be the best wife I can be going forward. Need help with your relationship? She has just sent a private message to him on FB. Well, time for some fun questions: would you be telling him about it just to alleviate your own guilt? Itachi, Lees theory can backfire, especially if the person really believes you are talking about someone else and then he/she finds out you are talking about someone that YOU did. Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC, Psychology and the Mystery of the "Poisoned" Schoolgirls. It was just a kiss. California coastal beeches will leave you saying -America not too shabby.. Can't take anything from South of France-doesn't everybody go there? I read or heard somewhere that the only good thing that comes of guilt is to prevent you from doing it again. He deserves the right to make the decision on whether he can forgive you and move on with you. It's good you feel guilty, that means your not cheating pond scum. Yes one should take care of themselves before getting drunk. I was drunk but that is no excuse. You have been dating this guy for only two months and it's not serious yet. It's one of those cases where keeping it a secret would be worse than the transgression itself, especially since it'd be a case of 'the pot calling the kettle black'. I am 100% sure he will forgive you and will love you even more for telling him (which you should have done A LONG TIME AGO). But you sounded like you were willing to take it farther with him,and risk it all. Lol I Was Raised By A 90 Years Old Ninja - Facebook I guess what really bothers me a lot is when kids get involved. Personally, if nothing happened apart from him buying drinks and giving you a ride home, then I wouldnt have told at all. Your significant other might get very angry about this, but I believe it depends more on whom you kissed rather than on the fact that you kissed someone else. female Pointer much appreciated, though. Amazing how long this subject has carried on. One way to alleviate guilt is by taking action. 10 Things You Didn't Know About Guilt | Psychology Today I said no but he assured me nothing would happen and we would just lie and cuddle.In a drunken moment I agreed and he assured me nothing would happen. I did say gateway to sex at first didn't I. if you believe you have to tell him exactly as you did here , if your friends you were with are also his say he can ask them . Unforeseeable consequence. I went that night to a bar and began to get very drunk. Food for thought, Michelle Langley. Does she feel guilty over leaving me for another guy? I think my husband will not forgive me. I dont drink, but had i been drinking i would have chosen home is the best place to be vulnerable lol! He left and went to the lake. Even though it took her a while to make that choice, she both never recognized her role and then made a series of bad choices after. I wouldn't want him around the person. Perhaps this one is geared more toward the ladies, but I feel pretty confident in assuming that no matter the . Your guilt is your punishment. ;-)). The straight women in the girls-french kiss-girls videowere all shocked at how gentle and non-aggressive female kissers were, in comparison to guys. This guy wouldnt take money from me (I should have seen this as a Red Flag, but didnt), so I bought him opera scores in order to compensate him for his time and expertise. If you feel like this about yourself then you may be worrying about what he will do while he's at university. Hubby had a similar experience when we were in our first year - with his ex. (SK, that award doesn't exist. Unfortunately, even these last few asides are tantamount to a forum no-no called thread mutineering. And what Simone Bienne said on the love line. Updated January 27, 2023 by ReGain Editorial Team. Genie, I think being honest is always the best because. Do you think it's better to alleviate your guilt by hurting someone you loved or better to just deal with it on your own? However from what I've read passionate kissing lead to touching, petting,etc. We started kissing again and he took my T shirt off and I briefly started kissing his body. Should find time to respond tomorrow. Will the guilt ever go away? It meant absolutely nothing what so ever but to me, I still class kissing someone else, no matter how long or short time, drunk or not, as cheating! Personally I don't believe in marriage. What? Now then,you and hubby should do some summer travel. The caller wasn't experienced (like me). This recently happened to me. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. You lied to me for 2 years? What would people say if she'd slept with someone else? I wanted to go further with him, but I didnt nor did he push for anything more. I work in hospitality, so I can't change departments, but I can change my shift pattern. (SK: no, it's just one of those places that's never appealed, holiday-wise, no doubt exacerbated by the fact I don't like long-haul flights for how they literally do my head in (think it's the aircon gas plus oxygen deprivation (don't get me started)) often lasting for a whole week afterwards, which isn't exactly what I call having a nice time.) But now he has begun university and I trust him with everything but I keep thinking of what I did. I kissed another guy when drunk but can't remember?! Because you feel guilt and awful, that is already a potential secret wall that will build up between you and the one person in the world with whom you want to be a true closest friend. At least I understood why our marriage failed and no further closure was needed. I remember saying 'no, no, this is bad' in the middle of it, and he said 'I know but I really like you and I have done for ages', and he kissed me again, but this time only for a second because I said ' I really can't do this, I have no excuse, I'm married and he's lovely, it's not like I'm unhappy, he's a good person' then he kinda just stroked my arm and said 'I know, your right, it's just I'm really attracted to you and couldn't not act on it, I'm sorry, you're right'. Bad things happen.Yes.but wat i d recomnd u is NEVER EVER tell him ! Youre not homosexual until youre actually attracted to dudes., MORE : Bella Thorne reveals she is bisexual by kissing a girl in surprise Snapchat, MORE : These are the UKs most powerful LGBT people, Doctor explains why some men faint or get nosebleeds when they get an erection, This is the number of sexual partners the average Brit has had, Mum in coven manifests orgasms and schedules sex magick with husband, Post-pill clarity: I came off contraception and didnt fancy my partner anymore, How I Do It: Its empowering to have a guy over and pleasure myself afterwards, follow-up video of straight girls kissing other girls for the first time, Bella Thorne reveals she is bisexual by kissing a girl in surprise Snapchat, These are the UKs most powerful LGBT people, Do not sell or share my personal information. Of course there would have to be a lot of transparency in the marriage there after. Pre-kiss, the straight guys none of whom have ever kissed another man before are asked where society hasanyrules for interaction between heterosexual men. When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission, which supports our community. Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended! Translation: I believe I wish to say, what the hell, what were we doing only I have a competing urge to chose a phrase that could be taken two ways, to ask, where are we at aka what happens with we two now? By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. :p Everyone is telling me not to say anything because it was so long ago and it never happened again, or will it ever. A number of years ago, while I was still married to my late husband, I befriended a guy who was an ace pianist. Im also pleased that you agreed with my argument as to when to fess up and when to keep your mouth shut. Did You Know Anxiety Can Enhance Our Relationships? Arun, I agree with everything you said here because I was guilty of kissing a guy I liked when I was drunk, knowing that I liked him and wanted to see how much.". Though somehow I think there might have been trouble in the marriage. NOT mentioning it could make you come across guilty. Best to start your own thread, like I say, if you want, where you could 'whistle while you work' to your heart's content. She confessed to loving the experience and enjoyed the thrill knowing she had her husbands permission and he was watching her. I thanked him for telling me this and we didnt speak to one another for years. Forget about it! I just knew it. BTW lips are also very much a part of foreplay that's what I've read. Maybe you didnt deliberately set out to kiss him or her, but you feel guilty about the kiss because you realize you always wanted to kiss that person, but were afraid to kiss because you harbored hidden feelings for that person. You want me to go on a comma and replace her. Things do get out of our hand at times, now think. Please tell me I will stop feeling like this. It's wonderful that you even wanted to kiss someone! Then he kissed me, and I kissed him back. I agree with Vale that the best thing you can do is talk to Cintia about what happened and tell her that seeing her kissing Mercy upset you. I'm trying - with the utmost seriousness and sincerity - to advise you to keep your relationship rap-sheet completely squeaky clean. You kissed a guy - Possibly unforgivable. I have to be honest, I have never once had the urge to visit America. I went out for drinks in town last night and got extremely drunk and kissed another man, it only lasted not even a few seconds but I feel so so so guilty and wish I could take it back. True mistakes get owned and rectified. You have a number of choices in terms of how to deal with what happened. The straight women in the girls-french kiss-girls video were all shocked at how gentle and 'non-aggressive' female kissers were, in comparison to guys. What if your husband ever found out? Keep it to yourself. I stopped and said I couldn't kiss him anymore cause I was dating someone I really liked Am I a terrible person? (although, I'm not sure how this counts as a debate if you and I are in total agreement, lol). Even despite it included you having to become whatever degree of a low-down doity adulterer. You have been dating this guy for only two months and it's not serious yet. Ill bet you got drunk on purpose because you wanted to kiss him/her..