I hate a group of people with a common purpose. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. George Carlin, 9. The real reason that we cant have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not commit adultery, and Thou shalt not lie in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment. George Carlin, 65. Laugh often, long and loud. Thats the problem. George Carlin, 58. Property is theft. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time. What are your favorite George Carlin quotes? No money to be made off of the homeless. George Carlin Quotes on Religion, Politics, Government & Life - Goalcast Thats the problem. These George Carlin funny quotes on religion, government, and stupid people will make you laugh as well as think about things deeply. If you can connect with theseGeorge Carlin quotes, subscribe to our blog so that you dont miss a single post. Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. "Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it." ~ (George Carlin). And probably increase.George Carlin, And heres something else, another problem you might have: Suppose your prayers arent answered. If you burn the flag, youre burning the flag for what you perceive to be the bad things the country has done. The middle class pays all of the taxis, does all of the work. var cookie = cookies[i]; Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote - Goodreads 11 Profound Quotes on Politics by George Carlin I love individuals. George Carlin, The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. Whether you agree with him or not, Carlins views are definitely worth considering. All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another. George Carlin, 69. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. George Carlin, 2. Whether youre looking for inspirational or funny quotes by George Carlin or whether youre looking for his famous quotes politics and education, its all here. Deal with it.George Carlin, Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.George Carlin, He and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly.George Carlin, I dont know how you feel, but Im pretty sick of church people. var ue_t0=window.ue_t0||+new Date(); Disclaimer: As an Amazon Associate We earn from qualifying purchases. var googletag = googletag || {}; var source = getCookieWithoutJQuery("source"); " Forget the politicians. Because you have the illusion of choice! George Carlin, 76. The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. He had a way of critiquing and making fun of the government without necessarily getting into trouble. It will not be with jack-boots. - George Carlin profile quotes. googletag.pubads().enableSingleRequest(); The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. I started this website because I wanted to help people like you to maximize their potential and achieve their dreams. Boy, these conservatives are really something, arent they? Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. George Carlin, Thats why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readteach them to question everything that they readteach them to question everything. George Carlin, Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. George Carlin, In America, anyone can become president. The government doesnt care about you, or your children, or your rights, or your welfare, or your safety. Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. They're imaginary. When you are born in America, you get a front row seat. Let me know in the comments below and please share this post. gads.async = true; Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it? googletag.cmd.push(function() { George Carlin, Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.George Carlin, I, myself, have killed six people. Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. Creative Commons. My motto: Fuck Hope! George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Im happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, If everyone in the world sat quietly at the same time, closed their eyes and concentrated as hard as they could on peace and goodwill, all the killing and cruelty in the world would continue. Every person you look at; you can see the universe in their eyes, if youre really looking.George Carlin, Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die,your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. I have certain rules I live by. }); "Laugh often, long and loud. We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass. George Carlin, 79. You will do things in the name of a group that you would never do on your own. googletag.pubads().disableInitialLoad(); About Us | Privacy Policy | Terms | Contact Us, Ronald Reagan Religious Quotes To Live Your Life As A True Believer, www.brainyquote.com/authors/george-carlin-quotes, www.quotes.thefamouspeople.com/george-carlin-1484.php, www.everydaypower.com/george-carlin-quotes. The planet is fine. George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readTeach them to question what they read.Teach them to question everything.George Carlin, How can He be perfect? Whats that, a bonus? 50 Best John Mulaney Quotes For Every Comedy Fan, 13 Best Writing Tools for Inspired Authors, 30 Of The Best Dale Carnegie Quotes on Having a Great Life, 45+ Enlightening Quotes and Pieces of Advice, Inspirational & Spiritual Quotes From (365) Days of Tumblr, 40 Progressively Inspirational Sevenly.org Quotes, 45 Inspiring Quotations That Will Change The Way You Think #2, 5 Tips To Keep In Mind Before Hiring a Therapist Online, comedy about a singer who pretends to be a nun, friday funny motivational quotes for work, funny quotes about stupidity and ignorance, george carlin don t sweat the small stuff, george carlin on god the planet and the freak show, george carlin sayings that don t make sense, i dont want nobody fucking with me in these streets, positive funny inspirational quotes for work, quotes about getting screwed over at work. } But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. George Carlin, 14. By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. It presents itself as fairness, yet attempts to restrict and control peoples language with strict codes and rigid rules. var cookiePair = cookie.split('='); They own everything. The people are fucked." George Carlin "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. Im not sure thats the way to fight discrimination. , I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. for(var i=0; iQuote by George Carlin: "But there's a reason. There - Goodreads A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. George Carlin Sayings and Quotes about life! Injuring, hurting, killing, drinking are all part of it because youve lost your identity because you now owe your allegiance to this thing thats bigger than you are and that controls you. George Carlin, 71. I dont believe anything the government tells me., Governments dont want well-informed, well-educated people capable of critical thinking. 21 George Carlin Quotes On Government And Politics George Carlin has many famous quotes about government, education and the American dream that are often referenced as truth. Or, at the very least, it will be slanted to suit them, and then rarely followed up. George Carlin, 64. George Carlin "The planet is fine. 50 The Alchemist Quotes To Make You Follow Your Dreams, 195 Best Cobra Kai Quotes (Seasons 1 5), 70 Attack On Titan Quotes That Will Inspire Greatness, 37 The Lion King Quotes Filled With Powerful Life Lessons, Your email address will not be published. Laugh until you gasp for breath.George Carlin, The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.George Carlin, Honesty may be the best policy, but its important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.George Carlin, People always tell me Have a nice day. Well what if I dont want to? The first one is: 'Never believe ANYthing the government says.'. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream, until the end of time. George Carlin Quotes Government George Carlin American Comedian born on May 12, 1937, died on June 22, 2008 George Denis Patrick Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, social critic, actor, and author.